Thursday 26 April 2012

Jesuit One-Liners

Yes, I know many of these are groan-worthy, but still …

Why did the Jesuit cross the road?

For the greater glory of God.

Why was the Jesuit simply staring at the liquor cabinet?

He was discerning his spirits.

How many Jesuits does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one – but 12 will volunteer anyway and enter a heated argument about whether the bulb needs to be changed, which model to go for and whether a new bulb is compatible with our way of proceeding. Eventually, the superior simply makes a decision.

Why do Jesuits love Santa Claus?

Because Santa brings his gifts from above (de arriba).

Why did the Jesuit school award diplomas to four wolves on graduation day?

Because its objective was to form men and women, four others.

What do you get from a Jesuit psychologist?

An examination of consciousness.

Why is a Jesuit’s computer the safest place to back up your data?

Because he is more ready to save his neighbour’s proposition than to condemn it.

Why are there so few Jesuit theoretical physicists?

Because they have to go on experiment when they join.

Why does the Society of Jesus have to change its name in England?

Because Margaret Thatcher said, ‘there is no such thing as society’.

Why do Jesuit soccer teams play a 2-2-2-2-2 formation?

Because Jesuits need to have a long formation.

If you can think of any others, leave them in the comboxes.

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